THE TEACH TV

Educational television has the best titles. No matter how dull the subject, they give it a really snappy title.

Zig Zag - You're zigging, you're zagging, it's very extreme sports because it's physical geography.

English Express - it's an express train ride through the rules of grammar. All aboard!

Why don't they name school classes like this?

Forget that lesson in History - let's call it Time Layering.

Physical Education? Climb Time.

Religious Studies? God Box.

I tell you, you give these classes names like that and the kids will come running. The truancy figures will fall right down, sub zero.