KRUSTY 100

What is with this whole obsession with the round numbers? Everybody's rounding numbers up, rounding down, pursuing the round number at every opportunity.

Hey, it's 100!

It's 50!

It's 10!

I tell ya, it's freaking me out. Why are they round numbers? Is it that big circle at the end? The zero? Are we celebrating that big load of nothing on the end of these figures? Is that all we're doing with the round numbers? Because, if that's all it's about we should really just stop. Now.

If it's a round number because of the shape of the zero, why don't we attribute similar hip terms on some of the other numbers?

The two has that whole wavy zigzag going on there. Why don't we call those "snake numbers"?

"Yeah, I owed him £25 but he agreed to snake it down to £22 when I told him that's all I had on me."

And that one there - it's very straight, like a rocket. If a number ends in a one maybe we could call that an aerodynamic number.

"Let's aerodynamic it up to 101 here, okay?"

I think this could work. Then we can drop the unhealthy obsession with the round numbers. You're owed 96 pence? You'd never really know if someone's going to round it up to the full pound, aerodynamic it, or just snake it down. It'd keep people on their toes.