THE LAZY DNA

Apparently we share 98% of our DNA with monkeys. That is quite a large proportion - if you looked 98% the same as someone else you would, for all intents and purposes, be pretty much identical. So, this DNA thing - it's a pretty big deal.

And yet, the monkeys don't seem to be getting very far. They're not writing best-selling books, they're not driving around in monkey cars, they're not working on developing a monkey internet as far as I'm aware. All they're doing is swinging in the trees, living up mountain slopes, beating their chests and throwing faeces at one another.

You have to assume that the 98% of human DNA that the monkeys are sharing is all the lazy genes. It's all that procrastination, the putting-off-until-tomorrow abilities, the I won’t bother to leave a message... I'll just call again later on-ness that humans have.

Of course, the monkeys are probably looking at us thinking - well, they're inventing all this stuff, they've got the combustion engine down pat, they're writing all these books, but, monkey alive, are they stressed?! Come, live in the trees, beat your chests, throw faeces - why limit yourself, humans? You're 98% us - it would only take a little effort.