THE DA VINCI SKODA

The latest T Mobile advertisements promise that "the only surprise is a great phone". I must admit that I'm not especially technologically aware so maybe someone can explain to me - up until now, were T Mobile phones generally considered to be terrible? Were they a laughing stock among the phonoscenti? Is that why it's a surprise that when you join T Mobile these days you might get a great phone? Would a good phone be acceptable, if less of a surprise? I think a good phone would be okay, especially if T Mobile were so bad before that they've got this self-conscious about it.

Although, I wonder if maybe the T Mobile guys don't really get "surprise". Y'see, a surprise is, by its very nature, unexpected. It's no good telling the guest of honour that "the only surprise party is yours, next week, on the 19th" because it ceases to be a surprise from that moment forth. "As a special surprise just for you, we've all chipped in and bought you a great mobile phone." - Again, no real surprise, I'm thinking.

Which really means that the T Mobile people are saying that "if you ended up with a great phone from us - it would be a surprise." So, I guess you should really expect a pretty darn useless phone from T Mobile, probably with very little in the way of a comeback for the consumer. "Hey, we told you it'd be a surprise if you got a great phone from us - in the big print. It's no good crying about it now, is it?"

They may have invented a whole new genre of advertising here - the incredibly honest advert. Now that would be a surprise.

(Except not now, since I've just told you...) (Surprise, not a surprise; surprise, not a surprise...)