THE PASS MASTER

Is it supposed to be a race when you use those magnetic pass card things on the reader? You know, the travel pass, the work i.d., the fob for the magnetically locked door. I find myself trying to do the slightest, mildest, subtlest swipe on these things. It's like one of those time/motion studies - I'm trying to use as little motion as I can for the operation. I'm like a statue. I don't know why - I can't see what I'm saving all that energy for.

It's great when you don't even need to touch the reader - just get close enough, it knows, the door unlocks. That's a great feeling. It's like having a touch of the magician about you. "Look, no hands - the door has unlocked. This simple-minded device obeys my will."

Sometimes I like to do it like I'm palming a coin. The pass is between the third finger and the pinkie, rotate my knuckle, the pass is read, the ticket barrier opens, the pass is already travelling back down my sleeve into hiding, the audience think I can somehow travel without a pass.

If the equipment has a good reader range, you can keep the pass in your pocket. Kind of step just so and the pass is read - you're in. Other people are fumbling for their i.d. passes behind you, but you just step through like your own the joint.

Sometimes you can get too blasé about it, pull out the wrong pass for the wrong occasion. You're trying to get through the ticket barriers at the train station with your work pass - usually takes two or three goes with that sucker before you realise why nothing's happening.