THE CAROL VESSEY DETENTION

So, the internet. Why do the media people keep telling me it's online? It really is only the media people, isn't it?

Go online. Hello to people listening online. Check it out online. You can participate online.

What's with the line? It can't be the phone line, surely. Because we've been using phones for years and nobody ever said "Give me a call tomorrow and I'll speak to you online." Believe me, I'd remember.

And, hey - TV presenters... no one out here in sofa land is saying "online". Not about anything. Really. We just call it the internet, maybe the net, maybe the web if we're feeling kind of nostalgic. Occasionally, we call it the information superhighway, just to mix things up a bit. But nobody's "going online" except for you.

Because, ____ - that's a line. You want us to go on that?

Perhaps if the TV ideas people stayed off "the lines" for a few days, maybe that would help...