THE WHICH DOCTOR

Who would be the better doctor to have as a friend - Doctor Frankenstein or Doctor Moreau? Both went to medical school, both are at the cutting edge of eugenics, both are reasonably well off.

With Frankenstein, you'd hear a lot of stories about dead bodies.

"You'll never guess what I'm making this time, Krusty," Frankenstein would enthuse. "It's a brand new, living, breathing human being. He's eight feet tall, has the emotional capacity of a six year old child and I've used body parts stolen from corpses to create his body."

"Eurgh! Always with the parts from corpses. What is wrong with you people?"

Moreau, by contrast, he's got a wider repertoire to draw upon.

"Let me show you what I've been working on, Krusty," Moreau would begin. "This is my new, hyper-intelligent chimpanzee. He can recite the alphabet, count up to ten and is currently developing his own, fully operational religion system based around pasta shapes."

"Heh-heh-heh. Look at him worship! S'funny."

For my money, I think Moreau has the edge. You can't beat intelligent monkeys.