THE POOR CHOICE OF THE UNDEAD

Zombie has to be the lowest form of horror monster to be turned into.

Think about it. If you're being turned into one of the classic horror creatures, zombie is pretty much bottom of the list. It's no coincidence that it begins with Z.

Vampire would be okay. Black never goes out of fashion. You can turn into a gaseous cloud to entertain your friends. You're hanging around a lot of attractive virgins. The vampire is a fairly sweet gig.

Werewolf doesn't strike me as so bad. For one thing you've got that heightened sense of smell. You also get enhanced strength, and quite often that carries over to your human form. Plus, you're only a wolf for two, three days a month. What's that, one weekend in four? It's not like it's going to eat into your social life too much.

But the perks of being a zombie seem pretty minimal. You walk with the shambling gait. Bits of you are falling off. You can't eat nothing but brains and flesh, and you have to dress in the ragged remains of whatever you were buried in. The slow walking, the bad meals, the poor health - these I can handle. Having to walk around in that uncomfortable suit I was buried in for the rest of my unlife... that seems needlessly cruel.