THE ESCALATING SITUATION

There is a war going on, my friends, all around us, and every day, we see another salvo fired. This war is going on right under our very noses. It is the war between recycled paper towels and hot air hand-dryers.

You go into any public bathroom - at a restaurant, a bar, the station - and it's the same old story. There's Mr. Paper Towel fighting it out. There's a little sticker on the front of the dispenser - "These paper towels are made from recycled paper. They're just great for the environment. The ultimate goodwill gesture to a planet that's suffering. Your conscience, like your hands, is clean."

But you pop into another restroom - at the airport maybe, or even your place of work - and there's the Hot Air Hand-dryer Gang, waiting in the corner, just looking for an excuse to blow up. The sign on these ne'er-do-wells reads along the lines of "The hot air dryer is more hygienic and creates less waste than paper towels. It's just super to the environment. The best, my friend, the best."

Both of these guys can't be right, can they? They can't both be the best thing for the environment, surely. I've heard their arguments, I'm all over the basic logic. But I can’t decide.

Whose side am I on? Tell me.