THE ARMY RECRUITMENT DRIVE

The worst thing about being incarcerated in Camp X-Ray has to be the fact that it's called Camp X-Ray, surely. When you hear "Camp X-Ray" it brings to mind the image of a skeleton standing in the "I'm a little teapot" pose. That's no name for a prison for hardened soldier-wannabes, is it? I think that this may constitute both cruel and the oft-mentioned, rarely defined, unusual punishment.

The US military do like to refer to places as camp, I've noticed; Camp David's the most obvious example. It gives the impression that these places were built that day, they're just there to bed down, roughing it, at one with the elements, eating rabbits they've killed with a catapult made from two sticks and a sock.

While I appreciate the macho sentiment, I'm not entirely sure that this is the impression that an organised military force should be giving. I mean, they've moved on from bivouacs and tents, right? It's like calling aerial support "the hot air balloon people". Let's snap it up a little, move this stuff into the 21st Century already, okay, guys? (Or not. Please don't shoot me.)