THE INNOCENT MAN

I figure the only thing worse than going to prison for a crime you didn't commit is going to prison when there wasn't even a crime to begin with. What about the maintenance guys, the prison plumbers, the cleaners - what's their incentive not to commit crime? They're spending eight hours a day in prison anyway. And they're actually in prison cleaning up the mess made by the other prisoners - they have it worse than the convicts.

Did you ever think about how they get the glass in the visiting room clean? You know, there's the pane of glass that separates the felon from their loved one - there's a lot of hands-touching-the-same-spot action in legal dramas featuring scenes in this room. Is it one guy that cleans those fingerprints off or do the cleaners work in crews? I like to think there are two of them, working opposite sides. Now and then their squeegees meet, it's kind of bittersweet.

If a prison cleaner doesn't want to go to work, can they get one of those electronic tags? That way they can clean their home, just so long as they phone in every four hours. If they miss one of those calls - that's it, straight back to cleaning the blood from the communal showers.