THE ZEST

Why do I keep getting a slice of lemon when I order water in a restaurant? Is everyone else ordering their water with lemon and the waiter assumes I'd go with the majority, that it was an oversight on my part not to specifically mention the lemon. Because, honestly, I've never requested lemon. Water - tap water, mineral water, still water, these are all things I've asked for by name. Never lemon. Never "and a slice of lemon". Never "can you just find a bit of lemon to go with that?". I'm sure I'd remember if I had. And yet I am still receiving the lemon.

Is it there in case the waiter forgets what he's serving maybe? Is he walking along muttering "the water's the one with the lemon in it" as he heads to my table. Because he can’t just surreptitiously smell the glass and say "Yup, that's water" because water is odourless and colourless. So far as identifying it goes, water plays its cards pretty close to its chest.

And sometimes they put a slice of lime in the glass instead. That's just adding another level of mystery to the whole transaction.

Does the slice of lemon add something? Is water somehow a better experience because of a sliver of citrus fruit? Is that a universal truth? Because we're not serving water with lemon at home are we?

Here's something you can try for yourself. The next time you're in a restaurant, order a slice of lemon, you know, when the waiter asks if you'd like anything else. Just a single slice of lemon, that's all you need. Because I'd guess that comes dunked in a glass of thoroughly redundant water, whether you asked for that or not.

"Waitaminute, I didn't order water with my lemon? You've soaked it. Why - it's ruined. What kind of no class joint is this anyway?"