THE LOST

Who's losing all these needles in haystacks? Do you ever wonder this?

Because, it's a phrase. It's a definite phrase. That would be like finding a needle in a haystack. This is what people are saying. Every day. They tell me this with alarming regularity, and I'm sure I can’t be the only one, can I?

Is there a lot of sewing going on on the haystacks? Is the top of the haystack an ideal place to darn socks? Are there a lot of dressmaking classes in the hay fields at harvesting season?

I'm thinking not.

Maybe years ago, when people were just getting the hang of rural life. Sure, you live and learn. Lose a few needles, cut your losses, sew elsewhere. But the phrase has surely clued people in by now. I mean, come on - quit with the sewing on the haystacks. You're dropping needles everywhere, you can never find them again. Just set yourself up at the kitchen table. Nobody ever made a big saying out of "finding a needle on a tiled kitchen floor" you'll notice. It's not very hard to do, you see? Bright lights, smooth, flat surfaces. That's got to be a better place to do your sewing, hasn't it?

The only time you need hay to come anywhere near the sewing equipment is when you're making voodoo dolls or trying a quick repair on a horse's saddle. Otherwise, take it from me - avoid the haystacks - combine them with the needles and it's just a recipe for disaster.