THE NAMELESS FAUX PAS

Everyone tries to make a joke of forgetting someone's name. I don't know why people do this, but everyone does.

It's always "And hello... Um..." then you get the nervous laugh. Then the more boisterous laugh, amid possible denial. "Don't tell me (I'm going to have to) I do know (no, you don't)."

Quite often, people like to make it worse once they've forgotten your name. They like to go over the top "And I won't forget that in a hurry" or "So, Tim, I mean Tom... Paul" - none of which are your name, because that really is funny after they've genuinely forgotten your name the once. Somehow they think it's okay that they forgot your name just so long as they can laugh at you.

Sometimes you meet people and you'll never know their name. People you see two, three times a week and you have no idea what their name is. I knew a guy at college who latched onto me, and I never knew his name. He'd come over to me in the library, sit next to me in klown class. This went out for about nine months.

I just hit a stage where I couldn't ask him anymore, and I didn't really care enough to try to find out by deception. I think only sitcom characters ever really find out people's names by deception - for the rest of us, we figure it's not going to be an issue until we have to deliver their eulogy. Then things get kind of tricky.