THE FLATTERY

Ironing is a strange pursuit. People iron their shirts, their trousers, their skirts. And what for?

So they can wear flat clothes. This is the only reason.

The clothes have been washed, we're not denying the cleanliness here. But, until you iron them, we really think there's something not quite right in the cleanness of those items of clothing. There's a little something missing, somehow.

Who started all this? Who thought it would be a great idea if everyone had flat clothes? Our bodies are curved, people. There are no flat planes on the human body, it's a series of ridges, of troughs and valleys.

Trying to place flat items against a lumpy surface is generally considered to be a waste of time in any other situation. Yet, clothes on the human body - we can’t stop ourselves.

Steam ironing clothes flat to drape over the body - I figure it's a conspiracy harking back to the mathematicians of the steam age.