THE LEGAL PRECEDENT

We've all heard the phrase Any man who defends himself in court has a fool for a client.

Having a fool for a client isn't necessarily a bad thing, of course. There are plenty of half wits, slow wits and no wits walking the streets today thanks to the tireless efforts of a good lawyer, I'm sure. I'd guess that half of a lawyer's working life is spent defending the moronic - they're not raising the legal bar by choosing only smart criminals.

In lawyer circles they have a similar phrase, only it goes Any man who defends that guy in court has a fool for a client.

It's always interesting to read those stories in the paper where a defendant has multiple personalities. They have that paragraph about how the apparently normal client committed the crime while under the influence of her "reincarnation of Genghis Khan" personality.

I guess even people with multiple personalities defend themselves in court now and then. The Judge is all "You have heard the phrase that any man who defends himself in court has a fool for a client, haven’t you?" and they'd be "Well, actually, as my client I'm adopting the Stephen Hawking facet of my personality. Unfortunately, I'll be defending myself mostly in the mindset of Daffy Duck, your honour."