DRIVEN TO DISTRACTION

People are very eager to show you when they have a new car, aren’t they? Even if you're not interested in cars, they still really, really want to show you.

"I don't really know anything about cars," you tell them.

"Doesn't matter. Get in, we'll go somewhere."

If you're not a car person that's a very awkward situation. You try hard to be enthusiastic, but it's difficult knowing quite what to say. "Well, your new car sure has some good... wheels there. And, wow - doors. Can’t get enough of those. Did I mention the, um, wheels? Good, good wheels."

And then the driver always wants to "go round the block" to show you what the new car is like. What can you say? "Well, this sure is different. You never took me round the block in the old car, that's for sure. I'm impressed."

People really like to show you the gadgets, too. The radio aerial that goes up and down on its own, the lights that flip up, the convertible roof so you can experience what it's like to be driving in a force ten hurricane.

When a clown shows you his new car, there's that uncomfortable moment when the exhaust backfires and the doors fall off. To a clown, this is a good thing, of course. That's one ride around the block you'll never forget.