THOSE MEDDLING KIDS

Some of the stuff in the old Scooby-Doo cartoon is pretty hard to swallow when you think about it.

Is pretending to be a ghost the best way to scare off land developers if you own an old mine? What other techniques have to have failed before you think that dressing up as in a glowing wetsuit will help? Are American realty developers particularly known for their superstitious nature, making them more susceptible to fake hauntings?

Who taught Scooby-Doo to talk? Did he start talking as a puppy and the gang encouraged it, or did they train him like a parrot? Is he a dog with a speech impediment or do all dogs begin words with the R sound?

Where did they find Velma and why did they start hanging out with her? Fred and Daphne seemed to be of the same social type, and I'd accept that Shaggy was some infant school throwback friend from Fred's past or something - they were all fun-loving teenagers despite their surface differences. But, Velma - she clearly wasn't a natural part of their social circle. There's no way she'd have been part of their clique. Did they all meet in some huge, Breakfast Club style detention?

How come the Scooby Gang found all these mysteries anyway? Were they invited or did they stumble across them by accident? If they were invited, who invites teenagers to solve a mystery? If not, why did they keep staying at abandoned mansions? Were all the motels booked up?

Why did Scooby howl his name at the end of every episode? Was he worried that the rest of the gang would forget who he was?

And why did they start calling themselves the Scooby Gang? Wasn't Fred the leader? Shouldn't it have been his gang?