SO, IT'S COME TO THIS - A KRUSTY THE KLOWN KLIPS SHOW

No matter the medium, the anniversary special tends to be a mixed blessing. They've done fifty episodes, they've done a hundred episodes, they've done 200 episodes, how can they possibly mark this phenomenal achievement?

The call back is a popular choice. That's when an actress who left maybe thirty episodes ago reappears, usually to marry one of the lead characters. You know she's only back for this episode, so you watch the whole thing with an air of disinterest. You know the marriage can't go ahead - she left this two-bit sitcom for a career in Hollywood. You spend the whole show marking time until - there it is, the groom's got cold feet, the wedding's off, she's on the next flight back to her real career, roll credits, thanks for watching.

Interviewing the stars of the show is a popular choice which I don't really see the logic of. You've enjoyed the show for 200 episodes, why don't we get the actors to appear out of character and explain what a joy it is working on it. They like to tell that story about how the first episode didn't do so well but they always felt they had something special here, don't they? Guys - the axed shows felt that way, too. The only difference is, no one calls those actors back to tell this exact same anecdote.

The celebrity admiration special is one of the more irritating anniversary decisions. You get lots of people you don't like, telling you how much they like the show you wish you were watching right now instead of them. It's like they're rubbing your nose in the fact that they've not actually made an episode.

The clips show is an unsatisfying option that crops up with alarming regularity. It's pretty much the people who make the show saying "Hey, we know we're good. We're just resting on our laurels here." Magazines do the same thing - "50th anniversary issue, here's some stuff you've seen before."

And, of course, it's not an anniversary anyway. What is the fiftieth issue of a magazine? "We’ve been running four years and two months - let's celebrate!" Same for a TV show. Does 50 or 100 episodes mean anything? I'd like to see more 76th episode anniversary spectaculars.

This has been the fiftieth Klown College graduation speech. Here come some previous speeches I personally chose for you to revisit...