M. HULOT

Walking out of the cinema in mid-film is terrible. It's a terrible, evil thing to do. But, you've paid your money, you're stuck there, it's lousy - what do you do?

There's that twenty minute cool off period where you stay in your seat trying to convince yourself that it might pick up. You're pinning your hopes on the smallest detail to redeem the movie. "That waitress... she's pretty good. She delivered her line well. 'More coffee, sir?' - yeah, I like her."

And, once you make the decision, it's always a huge performance actually getting out. You're shuffling past all those people, doing the head duck thing, apologising with every step as you edge to the aisle. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's awful. I'm sorry. You were enjoying it, I wasn't. Now I've ruined it for you, too." And, even though you've decided it's terrible, you still keep one eye on the screen until you've left the auditorium. What are you going to do if it picks up now? Go back - make all those people move again? "I'm sorry, false alarm. It's a good movie, my mistake."

Leaving a 3D movie is the worst. You have the multicoloured glasses on, you're stumbling in the dark trying to find the stairs to the exit. Until you take those specs off, you're pretty much on hallucinogenic drugs.

And even when you do get out, you're still in 3D-movie mode. You're waiting for things to leap out at you. When your bus home pulls up you're disappointed that it doesn't explode, showering you with debris. That trip home feels frantic when you're in that frame of mind, let me tell you.