LET'S KISS AND MAKE-UP

So, the winner of the UK Air Guitar championships has just been announced.  Phew, am I glad that competition is finally over?!  Some guy pretends to play guitar for 60 seconds while an audience sits in judgement.  Yes, really.  As much as it pains me, I am not making this up...

http://www.airguitaruk.com/

See?!

Isn't this a rather insensitive competition?  You have no musical talent, you failed to buy a guitar to practice on, you've done none of the painstaking practice that is required to read music and master a musical instrument, and now you've entered yourself into a competition to show just how much effort you are willing to put into being utterly talentless?  Surely, whoever wins this competition is still a loser by any basic definition of the word?  "Yes, and we're proud to say you still can't play the guitar."

What does the winner get?  A million air pounds?  A pretend gold plated trophy of nothing?  A non-medal?

And who on Earth is judging this?  What do you need to qualify for that role?  A basic inability to play guitar?  Or perhaps, an air guitar judge has to be incompetent at their designated role - guitarist who can't play guitar gets judged by exceptionally indecisive person who takes days to make up their mind.

Rewarding people for their inability to do something offends me on some basic level.  Where does it all end?  If we're going to hand out meritorious awards to people who can't play guitar, why not hand out an award to the best pretend doctor for curing made-up cancer?  Why not give the Victoria Cross to the best not-war hero for doing nothing to save us from the not-Nazis?

Everyone's singing from the Hymn Sheet of double-think, my friend, and if you don't know the words they'll single you out - for an award.