THE BUFFET OF NEWS

Television news is obsessed with eating. I think that eating is, in fact, more important than news. They plan the news broadcasts around when we're going to eat. You get a breakfast news, a lunchtime bulletin, a teatime news. These are the terms they're using.

And it's not enough to name a show after breakfast. You'll find they're working lunch as well.

The question is - what happens if there's news outside of mealtimes? Is this like the sound a tree makes when it falls in a forest with no one around?

Are there secret news broadcasts for the pickers, the snackers? What if you have an eating disorder? Do you just not get any news?

"I don't have time for a full news bulletin. I think I'll just have something quick. Do you have any news soup?"