THE PIRATE NAME

When it comes to pirate's names there's a lot of emphasis on the facial hair. Blackbeard, Bluebeard, I think there was a Redbeard in there somewhere.

This is odd, when you think about it, when our traditional image of the pirate has him with an eye-patch, a peg leg, maybe a hook in place of one of his hands. With all those things to distinguish him from other people, you'd really expect a more imaginative nickname that does more than identify whether or not he shaved this morning. And, let's not forget, these were mass killers - murdering, ravaging and plundering on a vast scale.

Maybe naming pirates is like writing a eulogy for someone you don't really like - you just try to focus on their good points...

"Well, he has the wooden leg, the cyclopean eye, he's uni-dextrous and he's a crazed killer of babies. I think we'll call him... Blondebeard."

"That really gets to the essence of what the captain's all about. Good work."