IDENTITY THEFT

In the news this week, a man got jailed for fraud after selling an allegedly signed footballer's shirt on eBay. It seems that the enterprising fraudster had knocked up a certificate of authenticity on his home computer as a way of convincing his bidding, innocent victims.

To me, this highlights the major problem with purchasing celebrity memorabilia. Because, what is the certificate of authenticity anyway? What does it actually mean? What is its currency in the marketplace?

All it really is is a sheet of paper from someone you've never met telling you that, in their opinion, this isn't a fake signature. There's usually the scrawled signature of the certifier on there, often next to some foil stamp or hologram sticker that they might have pulled out of a cereal box for all you know. Who is the person signing the certificate of authenticity? It could be that wino who hangs round under the railway bridge shouting at passing cars. How would you know?

What we need here is a certificate of authenticity for the certificate of authenticity. Before you know it, there could be a secondary market in the sale of the certificates of authenticity.

"Hey, this one's signed by Frank M. Jones... It's a doozy, worth a small fortune, kid."

"Aw, all I've got is a certificate of authenticity for a Harrison Ford signature signed by Ben Murphy."

"Ben Murphy, the wino? Hah-hah-hah - they sure saw you coming, kiddo!"

"You laugh now, but this hologram proves it's real - see!"

"That's the Honey Monster, kid."