THE CINEMA FALSE ECONOMY

Do the cinema ushers even talk to the ticket booth people?

The ticket booth people are very precise in their dealings, have you noticed this? They like to ask where you'd prefer to sit. Sometimes they have the little map and they take elaborate pains to show you just where the screen is. That's the map that bears no relation to the auditorium itself, of course. If you actually sat where they pointed out you'd be facing a wall in a room behind the projectionist's booth.

I'm not sure why they ask where you'd prefer to sit. Doesn't everyone ask for "somewhere in the middle"? Are there a lot of people with eye patches asking to go on the left of the seating arrangements in cinemas?

Some people really pour over that map, like they're working out the seating arrangements on the last shuttle from a dying planet. The screen is that far wall there, and all the seats face it - you don't need any more than ten seconds to make this decision, people.

But, when you get to the screen, the usher rips your ticket, points their torch vaguely up the little run of steps to the auditorium, and states "You can sit anywhere" in a disinterested voice. However much work the ticket booth person put in all goes to waste.

I think it would be nice to get these two groups of people speaking. Who knows? Maybe they'd get along and the cinema world would be a better place.