DISINVENTIONS

You have to have a lot of imagination to enjoy a scientists convention because, most of the time, what these people have invented is junk. Even the greatest inventions looked pretty rubbish to start out with.

Scroll back about 150 years. All the scientists are meeting up for their annual shindig, and you've got the guy who discovered penicillin and the chick who's just invented stainless steel, and they all turn to Professor Jeffrey Isaac von Photograph.

"So, Jeff - what have you invented this year?"

"Well, I call this little box the camera. It can take a picture of anything you want and then creates a print. Say you wanted a record of what was going on in this room right now - snap - and we're ready to go."

"But waitaminute here, bunkie. I see the world in colour but... Well, what the hell do you call this?"

"Umm, I was thinking of calling it 'black and white'."

"Shyeah, great invention, doofus!"