PIGISM

We are institutionally piggist.

If someone is a glutton at the dinner table we say that they eat like a pig. If their house is a mess we describe it as a pig sty. And do we think they will clean it up? Sure, and pigs might fly. And even if they promise to clean it up we suspect that they are telling porkies.

Yet, scientifically, pigs are the proven intellectuals of the animal kingdom. They're not quite up there with the dolphins, I'll grant you, but they still get invited to cocktails with them and rarely embarrass themselves.

So how did pigs get associated with all this negativity? Has a pig ever tried to cheat you? Broken something it borrowed without asking? Woken you up in the middle of the night with a drunken phone call? Stolen your girlfriend?

I could go on, but overstressing the point would only make a pig's ear of it.