Sunday, May 06, 2007

THE WILL ROBINSON

In today's news: In light of recent kidnappings, the Gaza strip has been declared as too dangerous for most Westerners to visit.

What level of danger is that, exactly? Is that an official military classification of threat level - "too dangerous for most Westerners"? On the danger scale where does this sit? Is this at the "stepping out of the shower onto a slipperly floor" end of the spectrum or is it closer to the "stepping out of the shower onto a slipperly floor in the house of Anthony 'Psycho' Perkins" end of the scale?

Because, between the elderly, the very young, the sick, the nervous flyers, the people whose passports have expired, the people who don't even have a passport, the people who didn't get their shots, the overweight, the tall people with the deep vein thrombosis, the pregnant women and the people with spinal problems who can't sit in airplane seats for an extended period, I think most foreign lands are considered too dangerous for the majority of Westerners to visit. You add all those people up, that's gotta be 51% who won't be flying anywhere. I'll take that as most, if I may.

When are the news people going to realise that these unquantified statements in the press just aren't helping anyone? When you tell me that a part of the globe is too dangerous for most Westerners to visit, I really have to insist that you show me the full list of Westerners who are allowed there. I'm guessing Batman, John Rambo, Bond'James Bond, maybe Breakfast Club era Judd Nelson. Anyone?

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