Klown College, please

Regarding the student demonstration that "erupted into violence" yesterday in London - I see the press are suggesting a rogue elem...

In today's news, researchers from Cardiff University have presented a report stating that if newly qualified drivers were banned from dr...

A woman is walking through a station concourse with her child when she asks a passer-by for the easiest way to Euston Station in London. Th...

If you take a step back, cooking food seems a pretty random thing to come up with. I know there are benefits to cooking - killing bacteria,...

In today's Metro, collector doyen Dave Valentine tells us how he has amassed 500 empty crisp packets over the years, dating back all the...

Have you ever wondered where rock bands get their names from? Because I keep worrying they're going to run out now, there have just bee...

This morning I was awoken to a discussion on BBC Radio London about how spoilt the children of today are. Apparently, even working class fa...

Last year, Microsoft launched a new internet search engine called Bing.com. I say "new", it is in fact the same old Microsoft MSN...

So, after all these years they've finally figured out the way to make us save energy. I'm talking about the new, energy efficient li...

It is with a growing sense of horror and revulsion that I learn that the workers in overseas call centres are now being coached in the fine ...

In today's Metro newspaper they are running a poll to find out whether you think we are about to see a resurgence of swine flu.  A poll....

So, the winner of the UK Air Guitar championships has just been announced.  Phew, am I glad that competition is finally over?!  Some guy pr...

When it comes to Star Wars, there are some interesting anecdotes about where George Lucas came up with those wacky alien names. One story ha...

People seem very concerned with being cool.  Even the people who say they aren't concerned with being cool are really concerned with bei...

The banks really ask a lot of security questions, don't they?  Is all this stuff really necessary?  I thought the whole point of putting...

The celebrity endorsement is always a tricky one, because the celebrities don't like to get too involved. It's like they're oka...

I'm getting a little sick of all these lists of things that I have to do before I die. You know the things I mean. Fifty places you jus...

Several hundred years ago Britain was sending its convicts to Australia. Today, it transpires that Australian police forces are now trying ...

It’s tough to leave a job. It’s not so much that heady goodbye to the steady income, it’s really the fact that it’s so hard to put it into w...

Captain Kirk and crew met a lot of alien races that were obsessed with games. It seemed to me that every other week they'd be in the thr...

I find myself increasingly dissatisfied with the drinking water options in restaurants. When I ask for water the waiter or waitress will ine...

The problem with writer's block is that it's called writer's block. I mean, that's an example right there of writer's bl...

If misery loves company does that mean a hermit is the happiest guy in the world? He's spending all his time alone, he has no company an...

Were people really calling their loved ones "honey" before the advent of pop music? There's a lot of "honey" and ...

It's strange to think that the whole idea of shaving ever caught on. I mean, what was the sales pitch on this one? Tired of that facial ...

One of the most disturbing television trends of the past five years has been the move towards broadcasting "The Real" something. Y...

In today's news: In light of recent kidnappings, the Gaza strip has been declared as too dangerous for most Westerners to visit. What le...

Can we not just standardise the Last Number Redial button on the phone now? Every phone I use it's a different symbol, a different proce...

It seems awfully strange that we still use horsepower as the standard measure for an engine's pulling power. You get these motorbikes th...

"Well, it's not exactly rocket science," they tell me. Rocket science appears to be the default reference point for things tha...

The doors close button in elevators seems redundant. Because you know that the doors will close anyway, right? Doors open I get. You see s...

His bark is worse than his bite. That's reassuring isn't it? His bark is worse than his bite. He barks real loud, it's very sca...

So let me get this straight. We've had the combustion engine for, what, 150 years or something. And yet we're still watching people ...

Hair loss is a big concern for men, there's no point denying it. You can pick up any newspaper and find an advert for hair replacement o...

Help an old klown out here, someone - what's the Latin for "in front of the television"? Is it "-athon" or is it ...

My local council has announced plans to charge higher residential parking fees for "gas guzzling" vehicles, like 4x4s and SUVs. Th...

You have to admire the "Caution Wet Floor" guy. You know the guy I mean - you see him on the yellow plastic sign they put on tiled...

Life begins at 40. Have you heard this? Life begins at 40. That's 39 years of your life wasted right at the start there. 39 years, 364 d...

In today's news, the IT industry has launched a calendar to try to dispel the image that IT people are nerds. According to the press re...

Is it necessary for anyone who doesn't wear fur to also not wear clothes? That's the campaign, isn't it? "I don't wear ...

What is this obsession with getting music downloads free? Why is there this element of society who are convinced that music should be free? ...

Kia ora and why hello there fair citizens, my name is Bob. I have just completed displaying at the IFA 2006 Consumer Electronics Trade Fair ...

What is the deal with charities thanking the sponsors? When did this start? Did I miss a meeting? Isn't the whole point of charity, sure...

Do you hear that sound? Those quiet scratchings. That’s the noise of millions of schoolbooks being rewritten, now that Pluto has disappeared...

It amazes me how far the technology of communication has come in the last few years. These days, you can't walk down a busy street witho...

When it comes to Batman villains, you're hard pressed to find one half as terrifying as the Joker. The Joker spends his days forcing peo...

There are two things about the DVD warning that I really like. Firstly, when they make it really specific. "If you watch or copy this i...

Watching Knight Rider you got to see a car that could do anything. That car could park itself, drive itself, it could even tell you where i...

I'm having some trouble getting my head around the living in outer space thing. NASA are in the news this week, once more promising we...

I think America tried to have some revenge on the tsunami ("Hello?! It was called a tidal wave!") about a decade ago with that ter...

People always look up when they try on hats. It's a compulsion. It's one of those genetic throwbacks, like some weird, tribal memory...

Ah, the lure of easy money - who can deny it? So many people enter the lottery no matter what the actual chances are of winning. Because, th...

Scientists have today announced that spring is about two weeks earlier than it used to be. They have engaged in serious studies across the g...

Who would be the better doctor to have as a friend - Doctor Frankenstein or Doctor Moreau? Both went to medical school, both are at the cutt...

Now, come on. Had they used up all the good names when they came up with lemon drizzle cake? Is "drizzle" really an appellation th...

Zombie has to be the lowest form of horror monster to be turned into. Think about it. If you're being turned into one of the classic hor...

I think I've seen about all the news reports I can cope with that use a shot of the internet to illustrate their point. Honestly, how la...

Can you actually believe they had to pass a law to stop people using mobile phones while driving? I mean, have you ever seen people just try...

There is a war going on, my friends, all around us, and every day, we see another salvo fired. This war is going on right under our very nos...

Do you realise how much of a chore having superspeed would be? I mean, imagine that you're Superman - you're out there, you have the...

Do you ever wonder how annoyed Korea is with Ikea? Because, they almost have the same name there. It's not like you wouldn't notice....

Man, which boy didn't want to grow up to be James Bond? I mean, Bond is the epitome of male cool. He has the coolest cars, he gets the c...

Do you want to know why flies are so dumb? Because, really, they are. They fly in your house from an open window, then they spend hours and ...

Do you ever wonder why Superman doesn't drive? Because, really, you never see him at the wheel of a car. He would sooner pick up a ten t...

Boy, it's always fun getting e-mail from your friend's work address isn't it? You get that marvellous disclaimer after their mes...

Vampires aren’t very excitable, are they? They breeze through unlife, generally trying to avoid the shocks. So many things can hurt vampires...

Just between you and me, do you think the gears on a bicycle actually do anything? Nobody really knows what they're there for, I'm t...

A frequent jibe levelled at the Americans is that, when it comes to naming their domestic sports they bandy around the term "World...

Are chalk and cheese actually so very different? I mean, where did that phrase originate? They're as different as chalk and cheese . Cha...